Umm...What goes here?

I've been so weepy in the past thirteen hours.  The salty, warm tears that force themselves out of my eyes (I make them fight, for I refuse to blink them out) fall onto my cheek.  They are not filled with chaos, or madness as many tears are, but they are filled with transparency and I feel as though they simply want to get out of my system.  I'm not sure where they came from or why they're here, but I do hope that they soon tire and stop.

I have been reading quite a bit lately.  I feel like the book that I'm currently reading has enabled me to have some stark epiphanies.  Most of the time, such austere tidbits reveal themselves only after having sifted through entirely too much information.  They are normally whittled down in madness from a giant marble block to reveal something that will soon collect dust on a shelf.

These profound thoughts in which I've been reveling have been so personally fulfilling.  Whatever combinations of words that lie on the pages in that book were put together to help awaken whoever reads them.  I cannot talk to the author of the book, but I'm sure that this was his intention.  I appreciate greatly his ability to use many resources to compile such a lucid coherence on his subject matter.  I do not wish to disclose what book I am reading, for I know with great certainty that either none or close to that number of my readers has never and will never be interested in this subject matter.  It's not a secret or anything, but as soon as I mention the name of the author or the title of the book, the words will bounce around in your head and be quickly gone and lost into the stratosphere.

Today is Christmas Eve, and the "eve" part is approaching with quiet grace.  ...if that's something that can be associated with something so entirely blasphemous to the thing it is made to represent.  I feel peaceful.  After tomorrow, when Christmas is over, I will be able to breathe steadily again, knowing that I've made it and passed through yet another obstacle in tact and just as strong and solitary as before.

I have so many new thoughts on empowerment (no, I am not a feminist or any sort of ridiculous thing) right now.  I feel like without these new thoughts that fit so well into my mind that I would be a mess of sorts right now.  Yet I remain peaceful and serene.  I do not wish to impose on any activities that people have planned.  I do not wish to be a part of any of the joy that lies within other people's hearts right now.  I am not afraid to sit alone in this darkness (there are no lights on and it's rather cloudy outside) with the obscure light not even trying to light up the room.  I will remain and watch some good movies (Episode V, anyone?) and, if some sort of holiday desire moves me, then I will either swiftly quash it or maybe in the "spirit" of the holiday I will give in wholly to it.  ...but that seems an absurd idea.