Writing again...AGAIN!

Greetings reader(s)!

I feel as though I have a new pet...that pet being this city (by the way, it's Cincinnati, not Cleveland). ...just, praise Jebus I don't have to clean up its shit. I have to have all of this "patience" with finding things and figuring out how it fits together with me. I would liken it to a relationship, but those always end...but I suppose that pets always die...hmmm...

On a different note...I felt a little emotional a couple of times today. And no, this has nothing to do with my period. ...not one of these times that I've been emotional has been included with that. ...and I can't imagine being incredibly emotional and...emotional on top of it. It really does help when I'm able to talk to people, even for a little while.

I drew for a long time today...well, not that long, but a few hours. I got to a point where I felt really connected to my piece, and I am really quite excited to see how it ends up. I can't figure out what I'm being emotional about. I need to be able to focus...even meditation hasn't been helping, since I am finding difficulty with clearing my mind. My mind seems to be clear when I'm driving, but then this whole "road rage" thing comes into play...not that it's bad, I just...really hate stupidity. Example? Today I was trying to let someone into my lane, because theirs ended. so...they lingered right by me with their blinker on for a few hundred feet while their lane ended, instead of properly adjusting their speed and shifting into my lane with the few car-length space. Apparently they're afraid of commitment.

There's a train that goes by here every few hours. Well, I'm sure that it's not the same train...and I'm not quite certain of its frequency, either but I digress. When I hear the train, three things happen...1) I think about how much I love the sound of trains and 2) the sound of the train, at some point, goes from sounding like a major chord to sounding like a minor chord. I'm just positive that it has to do with where the train is located (as suggested by some crazy "musician" I know, who, by the way, is actually way better than they think they are) and 3) I think of the Goonies...the part where they play the organ and almost die, and the Fratelli family almost kills them with their haphazard handling and aiming of their pistol, which probably has only a few bullets since they used the other bullets previously in a shoot out with the police after robbing a bank...but I'm not a doctor, and again, I digress.

I have an interview tomorrow. At four of the clock, or 4 o'clock. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to look for an interview. Do I wear jewelry or do my hair? These are all things that the googles will tell me either tonight or tomorrow morning...or tomorrow early afternoon.

I'm learning who my friends are right now. I don't mean that in a defensive or condescending way towards anyone. I only mean that in a very positive way. I'm figuring out who means the most to me...it's like spring cleaning, but with people...and I don't even have to get rid of bodies (I left THOSE in my storage hahahaha, I'm only kidding...kind of...but seriously, I'm kidding). Also, I'm still thinking about sex a lot. Not about wanting to. Maybe it's because I looked at a book of the Suicide Girls. hm...I'm open to discussion or conversation about that as well. I suppose that if I weren't, I wouldn't mention it, or I would specifically mention that I don't want to talk about it.

Right now, I'm asking a lot. I was going to do the whole "all I want is..." but then I realized that it is going to be a list, and that is a lot. I want to figure out why I'm thinking about sex so much, and I want to figure out why I'm being emotional. I do realize that I AM a human after all, though I would contend that I must be from an extra terrestrial who was raised by humans...I want to (finally) watch the Big Lebowski (hint, hint...you KNOW who you are).

As far as venturing out, I feel far braver and more confident in my abilities to a) not die and b) to find things...not that it was too difficult to begin with, except for today I tried to use my GPS to find movie theaters. That didn't work. Twice. I'm really happy that I feel far less dependent on Joel, though I still haven't found friends yet. I am alright with that, since I know that they're out there, and whether or not THEY know it, I will be a part of their lives soon, and they will be a part of mine...and that's just how it is.

I'm also slightly concerned with my eating habits. I'm just not eating normally, and I may be under eating. Nothing worth being too concerned...but I rarely feel hungry, and I really haven't been eating much...since probably about a week before I left. ...I'm sure it will become somewhat normal again at some point...but it sucks that I have to really remember to eat...except today I became ravenous (this was at about 6PM and I hadn't eaten a crumb or had much to drink since noon-ish)...so I had two slices of pizza. ...which is pretty typical amount of pizza for me...that was good at least. Food should not be something that I should be able to talk about for more than a moment...but here I am, writing a paragraph, defending and explaining my eating. ...I'm figuring that it'll return to normal at some point, and that's the end of that.

I still haven't gone to that art museum, and I am very disappointed in myself for not doing so just yet. I've been here for almost two weeks now (yikes!) and have not been...though (and this is the last time I will bring it up) they are closed on Mondays, and I tried to go then. STOOPID! Anyway! I would love to hear from anyone and everyone to see how they are doing!!! I've heard from some of you already, and I would enjoy hearing from others!

meah kai

ps this didn't need to be post script, BUT I will post some pictures of my drawings shortly...both on facebook and on here. Thanks guys! (for what? for reading...duh)

Is it really 12:50 AM??? (Not in Central Time!!!)

It is very late right now. BUUUUUTTTTTT I am awake, sadly, and cannot sleep. SO! Since I am still in a good mood anyway, what better thing to do than blog?! (rhetorical haha)

Since the last time that I blogged, I haven't done a whole lot, or maybe I'm just in a sleepy haze and can't think of much...which is entirely possible. So, right now I am watching (or listening, rather) to Dodgeball. ...It was nice weather today, and I got hit on while purchasing a pop from the drive through store (similar to this one) which, by the way, is probably one of THE best ideas ever. Period.

I've been spending quite a bit of time drawing lately, and I hope to spend as much time doing so as I can before I start to work again. I did have a phone interview today, and I have to go in person on Thursday afternoon. I'm excited, especially since I'm not really sure what else to do with myself during the day. Monday I had tried to go to the art museum, but they are apparently closed. Epic EPIC fail.

So, now I will proceed to share some weird thoughts I've been having. ...I've definitely been thinking about "ex-sAy" (if you et-gay what I'm aying-say) all day, and I'm not really sure why. I haven't had any problems with being overly umm...thinky about stuff like that lately. I don't know. I feel weird about it. Why? That's a very good question. ...and I have far too much time to analyze things right now. How much time, you might ask? Welllllllllll...I have to say that I considered joining a book club with a bunch of women. Yeah. ...well, not that men are dumb enough to be in a book club. I don't know. It was a brief, fleeting thought. ...and I'm ashamed to say that I thought it. I'm sure that there are hundreds of movies that I should see, like the Big Lebowski, or The Road. ...or I could finish reading Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick. But I haven't.

Also, I stayed up all night talking to a friend of mine. From 12AM to 7:30AM. I was on the phone for nearly five hours. Oh alcohol. And for any of you children who may be reading, this is why we stay away from Vodka. Especially Grey Goose. I have definitely gone hyperlink crazy now...I feel like Charlie Gordon (was that his name???) from Flowers for Algernon. If you're reading this, you should definitely comment or something. I'm not sure whether or not the content is satisfactory to whoever reads this. Except for that blasted roommate of mine hahahahaha :o)

I would also like to take a brief moment to apologize again to my roommate for not listening to Search the City when he initially recommended it. They are very awesome and I will probably spend some of this "free time" of mine listening to them. And by some, I mean that they are going to be my new obsession. As for when I wake up, I think that I need to do some grocery shopping, I need to do some laundry, as well, I would love to go to the art museum. If I am able to make it to the museum, I will post pictures, not that anyone else is into art (I kid! I kid!)

Deuces.

OH! hi! OH!

Greetings, readers!

My days have been messed up lately. I can't make heads or tails of the week versus weekend days. I hope that this gets figured out at some point. I mean, there's only an hour difference from Central Time, and it's even in the same region! It's not as though I've traveled worlds away or anything!

I got to visit the Serpentine Wall (click for a picture of what the H I'm talking about), and it was pretty. It was right on the water, so it was pretty cool. There was also supposed to be some great war ship going through when we were down there, but it was pretty lame. There was even talk of a cannon, but there was none to be seen.

Today has been pretty productive as well. I tried to go to an art museum...the museum that is FREE *all the time* BUT!!! they are closed on Mondays. WTH, museum?! ...in their defense, their hours are clearly posted everywhere in the world. Lame. Weak. BUT! there's always the promise of tomorrow, and I still feel very upbeat...

Umm...I'm not sure what else to say. I feel like I should keep writing though. Downtown reminds me of Akira (a movie from 1988), and I'm fairly certain that almost every movie I've seen where people are in a city, or a city by water (which is every city. ever.). I have also heard that there is a vigilante here..watch the video. This isn't "Kick Ass" BUT they're good stuff. Oh crazy people in the world. Anyway, that's all for now, I'm sure. watch the Vigilante clip. That shit is hilarious!