The View from Here

I walked upstairs in the darkness and felt the chill of the cool autumn air on my fingers as I turned the dimmer switch on to allow myself easier navigation of the room.  I almost never look at the stage, only at where the audience is supposed to sit.  I am not afraid of the stage.  Silently I made my way across the floor and to the fire escape.  I stepped onto the fire escape and lit my cigarette...

I wish that people could see and perceive things the way that I sometimes do...I've been thinking a lot lately.  ...about everything, really.  From atoms and space travel to people and weather...and coordination and how much I want to watch the sunset.  ...actually, I really long to watch the sun rise, but if we're being honest here, the chances of my getting up early enough for that are slim to none.

I've been reading recently, working on the book Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick.  It makes me think about travel and deception and all sorts of other things... it makes me think about how towns are built.  ...and how without knowing it, really, humans have developed and continue to develop everything based on the simplest patterns in nature (as I said, I have been thinking a lot lately).

 I feel that through this book I have been given the perspective of how everything is just a bigger or smaller copy of something else.  I look at rush hour traffic and see clogged arteries, or Paul Brown Stadium and see something like a spleen.  ...or any other sort of organ, I suppose.  I see people changing because the weather is changing... I see the leaves changing color on the trees because the cooler weather doesn't allow for them to hold their chlorophyl like the summer weather.

Every cigarette burns like the last.  Every plume of smoke blows with the same patterns...but not every moment is the same.  Some sunsets are more beautiful than others.  Some trees do not lose their leaves.  Even veins change...atoms change and collide and bond to make complex things.  I would like to be one of those complex things.

I love that the world is not a perfect circle.  I love that gravitational pull will slowly pull the earth closer to the sun forever.  ...I like that the sun will someday go out and make a beautiful show for some other people looking at our star from a zillion miles away.

I saw a commercial the other day for a product that allows for the motion of someone's hand to control electronic devices.  In that instant, I tried to capture all of the crazy things I've seen in my life, technology wise.  I've seen movie theaters go from giant venues to my hand.  I've seen knowledge move from mouths and libraries to cables underground and some wavelength that I cannot perceive...I've also seen every bit of electricity in a cloud...but that's another story.  I can't imagine the great things that  I will see in my life.

As I put out my cigarette and watch the still glowing ashes fall through time and space to the ground below, I wish once more that everyone could see what I could...

Is it really 12:50 AM??? (Not in Central Time!!!)

It is very late right now. BUUUUUTTTTTT I am awake, sadly, and cannot sleep. SO! Since I am still in a good mood anyway, what better thing to do than blog?! (rhetorical haha)

Since the last time that I blogged, I haven't done a whole lot, or maybe I'm just in a sleepy haze and can't think of much...which is entirely possible. So, right now I am watching (or listening, rather) to Dodgeball. ...It was nice weather today, and I got hit on while purchasing a pop from the drive through store (similar to this one) which, by the way, is probably one of THE best ideas ever. Period.

I've been spending quite a bit of time drawing lately, and I hope to spend as much time doing so as I can before I start to work again. I did have a phone interview today, and I have to go in person on Thursday afternoon. I'm excited, especially since I'm not really sure what else to do with myself during the day. Monday I had tried to go to the art museum, but they are apparently closed. Epic EPIC fail.

So, now I will proceed to share some weird thoughts I've been having. ...I've definitely been thinking about "ex-sAy" (if you et-gay what I'm aying-say) all day, and I'm not really sure why. I haven't had any problems with being overly umm...thinky about stuff like that lately. I don't know. I feel weird about it. Why? That's a very good question. ...and I have far too much time to analyze things right now. How much time, you might ask? Welllllllllll...I have to say that I considered joining a book club with a bunch of women. Yeah. ...well, not that men are dumb enough to be in a book club. I don't know. It was a brief, fleeting thought. ...and I'm ashamed to say that I thought it. I'm sure that there are hundreds of movies that I should see, like the Big Lebowski, or The Road. ...or I could finish reading Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick. But I haven't.

Also, I stayed up all night talking to a friend of mine. From 12AM to 7:30AM. I was on the phone for nearly five hours. Oh alcohol. And for any of you children who may be reading, this is why we stay away from Vodka. Especially Grey Goose. I have definitely gone hyperlink crazy now...I feel like Charlie Gordon (was that his name???) from Flowers for Algernon. If you're reading this, you should definitely comment or something. I'm not sure whether or not the content is satisfactory to whoever reads this. Except for that blasted roommate of mine hahahahaha :o)

I would also like to take a brief moment to apologize again to my roommate for not listening to Search the City when he initially recommended it. They are very awesome and I will probably spend some of this "free time" of mine listening to them. And by some, I mean that they are going to be my new obsession. As for when I wake up, I think that I need to do some grocery shopping, I need to do some laundry, as well, I would love to go to the art museum. If I am able to make it to the museum, I will post pictures, not that anyone else is into art (I kid! I kid!)

Deuces.