Chasing the Sunrise to Illinois

I am utterly exhausted.  I feel like I've just been through an incredible time warp...or at least some sort of travels through time and space...In the past couple of weeks, I have discovered a new sense of self and been brought back to someplace I've been trying to find within myself for a while now.  If this is in any way confusing, perhaps I should provide a little clarity and...try to explain myself.

I traveled to South Dakota twice (there were some stops along the way, but I will go in-depth a little later).  This means that I also traveled back to Cincinnati twice.  Half of the time I was by myself.  So, twenty-six hours in a car by myself, twenty-six hours in a car with someone else.  Who?  My platonic soul mate.  I am always happy to reconnect with friends, or even to stay in touch when I know that our lives are in some way connected on a metaphysical level...

I feel also as though I've been granted closure on a few certain subjects.  Any sort of questioning that I had about whether or not *this* is right for me, whether or not I was psychotic for moving here...all my doubts have melted like a pinch of sugar in the ocean.  I guess it sometimes helps to get some perspective on things.  I feel so much like I was seeing the world right side up for a while...or like I was headed right side up...and now I have broken apart all of this nonsense and returned to normal.  Normal for me, anyway.

I'm not sure why I picked *now* to just be alright.  Maybe all of the driving drove me (sorry for the pun) a little crazy.   I missed home.  I missed my roommate and I missed and just being here.  Is this *home*???  I'm thinking yes, but it could also be a feeling of culture shock where elation with the location is in play.  If this elation is temporary, I will fight to hold onto it.  I am so happy.  SO, so happy.

It has taken me three days to write this blog...I feel like my brain has just been mush due to lack of sleep, a lot of emotions (elation, happiness, sadness, nervousness)...and a lot of different physical states - drunk, sober, drunk, fatigued, hungover, drunk again, and more fatigued.  I feel like I am almost normal now, which is good.  I am also getting used to talking about locations by landmarks, rather than ninety degree angle streets...I am very happy that Cincy is where I am staying, and that I don't have to leave to go anywhere...at least any long car rides...for a very, very long time.

Meah Kai