I'll Never Sit Back And Say, "That'll do..."

I sometimes wish i wrote on a typewriter.  I feel as though this would make things more authentic.  I really appreciate the juxtaposition of old and new...an old typewriter next to the computer...or an antique typewriter that would transmit to my computer...yes, please.  I wish that I could make my own computer. ...and as ridiculous and non-sensical as it would seem, it would be attractive and there would be something about it that would make it far more useful and magical than other computers.

I've done so much since last I wrote!  I went shopping.  ...and I actuallly shopped.  I looked at a few places on a whim, and I found some fun things to purchase!  I did buy a lot of art supplies.  a LOT of art supplies...so I am now working on a painting.  I may or may not have pictures eventually...I seem to have mis-placed my camera. ...and I'm not sure whether or not it has made its way across the country.  I'm not concerned, just curious.  I hope that  I find it...and soon.  I also got a really amazing poster in the mail (finally) on Saturday.  ...so I got a frame for it.  It says (in Russian) religion is poison...and on the right, there's a building that says (also in Russian) school.  It is an old propaganda poster from the CCCP, or USSR, if you will.

I've had a really tough couple of weeks, physically.  I've been sick and not feeling well, and I've no doubt that it's all related.  I thought that I was going to die on Friday.  ...my body hurt so badly that I would have been okay with death, I'm pretty sure.  ...as a result of all of this (no, I do not have any sort of diseases that you're not aware of or....anything like that. ...not that I'M aware of anyway) I plan on going to the doctor soon...hopefully (if I can remember to schedule a visit and if they have time) in the next couple of weeks.

 I feel like all of my positive energy has been drained from my body...not that I have been left with anything negative...I just feel kind of empty and lonely.  ...ugh loneliness.  I've been trying to pinpoint the feeling all day...and I've come down to the possibility of loneliness and possibly still not feeling 100% better.  ...probably a mix of the two.  ...but if I'm lonely, it doesn't make sense to me.  Why do I want companionship?  I'm not talking about just being alone all of the time, because I'm not...unless I try to be.  I'm not sure why I'm analyzing this via blog. ...I don't care that you know, reader.  I'm not keeping things from you...not that I tell you everything, but really?  This is how I'm feeling.  ...and in the mouths of the closest things that we can have to spartans lie the words, "it is what it is..." and that, quite frankly, is all.

I'm not sure what else to say, so...I guess that means that my blog should be over for now. ...I may decide to take a break from writing for a little bit to focus on other things (not like blogging takes much time or anything)...I am definitely losing track of some of the things I would like to do...such as studying and reading and more art development.  I can't be a good painter or artist if I don't keep working at it.  SO!  One day at a time...and I'll keep fighting for it.  ...indefinitely.