Last Week I Had the Strangest Dream, That Everything Was Exactly As It Seemed...

Ah today was Thanksgiving.  It was the first in memory where I didn't spend time with my nuclear family. I did not feel an ounce of stress.  I did not feel anything but relaxed excitement and contentment.  I am so immeasurably thankful to my gracious roommate who, along with his family, permitted me to spend quite possibly my favorite holiday with them.  Thanks to everyone who was there, even though none of you (save one) will ever even possibly read this.

I have been sick a bit lately.  I have found that this happens quite regularly, or at least more regularly than I'd like and I ought to just go see a licensed physician...Ah, and this is where I'll be vague.  I'm sure that I'm fine.  I was fine for a couple of days, but fuck.  I feel all just sore and tired and whiney again...just all sorts of uncomfortable.  Perhaps this would be a good weekend to stay in.  This reminds me of The Oregon Trail when people would get ailments and just rest for a day or two and then be right as rain.  If only it were so easy.  ...at least I don't have to worry about cholera or typhus.

I have not been practicing any languages or art or reading lately.  I am greatly bothered by this.  I have, however, been more social.  I guess that one justifies the other.  ...no, not really.  I am merely trying to make myself feel better about doing so.  There are so many books that I would like to read.  ...in fact I now have a few additional recommendations from the person who used to live here...and by here I mean in the same bedroom in which I now sleep.

I feel very odd about talking to this individual.  I'm not sure exactly what makes me uncomfortable.  I think that I feel kind of like Maurice in Beauty and the Beast...when Maurice is lost in the woods and find a castle and is being taken care of by the residents of the castle until the beast comes and puts him in the dungeon for trespassing.  There is no way that the former resident is a beast.  ...at least I assume not and have no real way of knowing.  I am just infinitely intrigued by someone who has left parts of their life here...parts which include memories and personal items.  This makes me also feel a little like an anthropologist.  ...hmmm...everyone who mutually knows this person (actually only one or two of the people who I have met and mutually know this person) have told me that my unsure and awkward feelings about this are all bollocks.  This is all probably true.  ...All the same.  I do delight in the fact that I'm almost certain that I will at some point meet this individual, and at once just be able to giggle at my intrigue.  If this happens, dear reader...I will be sure to tell you.

Also I would like to mention that I am finally...in such a "fuckit" mood that I'm ready to meet people.  ...throngs of people.  SCHOOLS (no children) of people...and, well, you get the idea.  I'm not super conscious of this...just becoming aware that my actions and behaviors (a little redundant) are reflecting such, and my mind thinks that it's a good idea to pursue such endeavors.  ...besides, I'm sure that my roommate would appreciate it if I beat other people sometimes, too.

And now, I must go...because I have a few goals to attain before the end of the year.  ...fuck new year's resolutions.  I'm making NOW goals.

Also.  The Walking Dead.  OOOOOOH god (<--if you're into that). SOOOOO GOOOOOD. I just wish that other people had read the series too.  but whatever.  fuckit.

A Dino Named Tito, and Other Various Things.-

I feel as though I must preface this entry with the fact that I am drunk.  I drank enough to make my body disagree with me, which is delightful in some ways.  Also, I must say that as vulgar as this sounds, Hot Chocolate + does NOT taste bad coming back up, thought it IS what put me over the edge.

A delightful few days I have been having.  And by few days, I mean a few weeks, and nothing less than a few months of discovery and many moments with my eyes wide open and my mouth shut for fear of losing a moment or two from memory and wasting them on words.

Tonight I went with a couple of people to one of the two bars across the street.  I drank many drinks...four or five-ish.  ...Pineapple Upside-Down Cake was the drink of choice (for all of those who inquire, you know who you are!).  I got lost in the citrus and sweetness.  I also had a meaningful, reflective conversation on the fire escape.  It seems like that humble place doesn't know its value.  It rests there in case of an emergency, but it allows for so many more things to happen, and supports us (or me) through it all.  It gives a wonderful view of Lockland, as well...which is such an easy transition for me.

I have been up to a few things lately!  I went shopping this past weekend.  I also have been letting my mouth cause some...excitement, for lack of better words.  I have been letting my drunken innocence set my sharp tongue free, and I have been mean to people who I let become the faces and catalysts for my aggression at the stereotypes that they so idiotically and proudly represent.

Thanksgiving is a day and a breath away.  I'm okay with that.  I will have cranberries, and AND my place of employment had a Thanksgiving of sorts.  I was not emotional at all about it.  ...though I may become so...we will see.  I'm trying to be aware so that my emotions cannot affect any of this.  ...but emotions are...natural, so I will deal with them in the most...rational way possible.  This sounds ridiculous, but alas, it is.

I feel as though so much joy exists in me right now.  I am listening to Postcards From Italy by Beirut and...I feel like with every staccato but full-knowing strum of the guitar, my happiness seeps out into the world and dances around to be shared with everyone.  EVERYONE.  Even the crazy people.  Even the ignorant people.  Even those who purposely do not do what they love.  Even them.

I went shopping last weekend!  It was a fun experience.  I feel like an ambassador for something every time I go out.  Random people always comment on my hair or on my tattoos, or have to share life stories with me.  I'm completely fine with that...I just feel as though I'm more aware of my actions then. ...not like when I'm drunk.  ...Then I can just freely tell people what I think about them.  ...not that I don't otherwise...Well.  I may have a little more tact when sober.  Whatevs.

I am in the process of making cinnamon rolls!  I have not made them for quite a while.  I feel like this is saying something about my comfort level in Cincinnati.  I feel good enough to share such a thing with the people about whom I care.  I wish could just deliver them to more people before they go bad!  We will see what happens.  I must wake up tomorrow.  ...which is today.  There is a show that I'm going to on Wednesday night!  It is the day before Thanksgiving and I am infinitely excited!  I'm not really sure if any of this blog will make sense, or entertain anyone.  ...but I have so much about which I wish to talk...and every time I go to write about it, it all seems to escape me and dance around me to entertain.  Blech!

Joey Votto is the Rookie of the Year or something baseball related.  That is my Cincinnati reference, other than the alcohol I have so generously donated to the sewer system by way of my mouth.  Tomorrow, I may have the bottle flu.  I'm okay with that.  I'm....okay with that.  The only things I wish that would exist in my life right now that don't are: a heated blanket.  Aladdin...I can't find my copy.  ...and maybe an extra meaningful hug now and then.  I'm getting far more hugs from people now than before.  ...I must be ninja-like and steal more!  ...I am in a very good place.  I am happy that I have had the opportunity to experience the things that I have here.  And...I thank everyONE who made that possible.  Thank you.  <3

Beirut.  Postards from Italy.  Most of you I'm sure won't be into it.  ...but you can check out my mood for this by listening to that.

I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I will not spend mine at Grandma's house with a traditional lunch and the hopes of Aunt Pam's gelatin dessert with fruit...or the Dallas Cowboys, who, by the way suck.  ...really?  REALLY?  They aren't good.  I heard someone refer to them as "America's football team"...if so, then it really IS a sign of where America is.  ...and those uniforms.  I digress.

Goodnight, good afternoon, and just...good lives to all. <3